THE LEMMING SHRINK AFFAIR. riginal.
"Let HOPE be the fly in the ointment of despair." OR..."never wipe your feet on a dyslexic shrink's WELCOME mat spelt ' COME WEL' ...because i can guarantee you if you're a lemming your state of mind will bag to duffer by the time you leave!
If you have any misgivings that lemmings don't possess an intellectual capacity to feel depressed, lonely, or downright Republic (IE: suicidle) then i guess i've created an O bama gaffical miscalculationary burpercide before i've even begun to scratch the surface of anything remotely worth scratching in terms of a religious rodent's openess to bare his soul. OKAY! i herd your feelings! I appologize to all Republicans, O bama inians, fellow religious lemmings, shrinks as a whole (hearsay that some have one?) and anyone else that stupidly/rightly so thinks that America is heading 'lemming like' over a financial cliff. RUBBISH! For a start, lemmings DON'T rush over DISNEY stereotyped cartoon embellished cliffs in droves but some of us have drowned in a sink or swim situation. I must backscratch here. LEMMINGS are furry little things approximately 3 to 6 inches long,1 to 4 ounces in weight (if you can't wait to get weighed i'd guess 1 to 4 ounces...my missus over xmas period... 1 to 400 ounces...shhhh!)
I'm a part of a sub family (hitched a ride to New York to see annual shrink on HMS Polarisss Sub) from downtown Arcticvil Tundra Continental- Deli 'Furryundergraduates-up to furry overn'round vital parts' open 24 hrs a day 'beyond blue' near 'FREEZING' ( 'Freezing' is a small near village- population frozen) place for us subniveal animals. We live quite near Gerbils, local German distributor of Lemming ade; the lemonade heats our vitals until the son comes up in the West...with a convection heater and hot water bottle of 'Hope'.'Hope' is a lemmin' drop based Arctic- Vodka...gathered from the LOCAL Vodka non slop profit shop run by Gerbils. What do we eat? grasses and shoots. Some of our teenagers smoke it...behind the Vodka shop BUT if caught!...they can be shooted into solitary...one year in a Republican Monastery... a non shootist de-shooting gallery run by the ubiquitous Gerbils! Rehab consists of chanting 1000 times a day..."i am a SMOKEFREE LEMMING not a human therefore i shall survive and learn to swim BEFORE i drown...not after!
Okay! NOW i've given you my briefs i'll give you the lowdown...on my annual visit to Dr.Fraud my New Dork shrinkery adviser cum money grabbing postulating shrinkerama pill dispensing sire representing the reason for life and "why bother coming to see me anyway it's near the xmas break,here...grab a bottle of something off the shelf i'll be back in a sec..." Needless to say i sat there feeling so much better as the sun shone through Dr.Fraud's pill bottles on to my belly, melting my pre- xmas depression. I realized that pills are just a temporary prop...i'll overdose on God's freebie. Sunlight. Besides, i've run out of time and space for the transcript of our discussion which would have gone something like this. "Hi furry! why bother? OK! jump up on my new lemming fur-trimmed couch i imported from Gerbils...umm...bloody hell! that was so INSENSITIVE...jump up on my new FAKE FUR vinyl covered lemming skin couch from downtown ratrace New York." "Dr. Fraud welcome to my annual teething day...""Aggghhhh!...get off! You're ripping the crap out of my new skin...PUT THAT COUCH DOWN!...you need anger management!...put that bottle of tranquilizers down!...i'll ring santa's helper in the blue suit...! Let's talk about this...! When did this feeling of sumbliminalistic rage kick in?...STOP KICKING ME!..................."