RAMPANT RANDOMNESS...BELIEVE IT OR NUT. riginal.
Prof. Burstin' Nut from the University of 'Fine Yart'. The following pieces are for the Hung;or, as the case may be...very well hung... over from the festive season at Yart. After selectively picking my students on their intelligencesickel verbositivic grey smatterings of 'free radical' thinking on campus canvas deliberatorial de-duncivicational ramblings according to their 'rite of vocal passage'- IE: Determined by their parents' ability to PAY huge sums of money to me instead of waffling on at Harvard- i have put together a crossection of the aforesaid before said. Actually there's no such thing as FREE! Bare in mind that a chap named Albert Wine Stine came from my back YART. I hadn't seen young yarty Albert until the recent party,he's a maths genius in a Genie bottle that young fella. My fault really, i organized a 'theory of relativity' party between girls and boys studying here at the cliff's edge downstream from Y'art Falls...if you don't use nails. Most of the group were sensibly sipping on home grown mulled wine grown from the fruit of the Mull tree whilst mulling over the difference in body parts between males and females. Like: females have PINK ears and Males have BLUE ears...depending where their heads have been. Indeed! sometimes the colours vary to various from outstanding PINK to outstanding BLUES.Funnily enough the 'BLUES brothers' was the band that entertained this day inbetween LUCY'S 'pie-in the-sky'ramblings.PINK didn't want to hang round. All and sundry on this particular Sunday things were great. I warned everyone to keep away from the EDGE of Cliff's edge. A young lady started the proceedings of readings poetry, etc with a quite whimsical piece about her recently divorced mum-a Mrs Wart.
The pretty young thing took a swig of rarsberry cordial (she didn't believe in heavy drinking,panting,petting,or pilfering others' ideas) and good on the girl...she stood out from the rest...mainly because the cordial ran down into the bearings of her roller skates...jamming them. Several guys held her up, one of them a metal-smith person-Ned Kelly...i think Ned did ALSO later on down the track? I digress. Mrs Wart's daughter fingered her sweet piece on A4 ruled paper- with cordiality...stuck to her pinkies. She began. "Poem about my 90 year-old-mummy. There was an old woman named Wart...pause...she's bin' always a bit of a sport...pause...she's kisses handsome young frogs, then cries out "YOU DOGS!" you just CROAK and give ME no thought?" I gave her 5 out of 5 midst the cheering "bravo...bravo Miss Cordiality Lucy Wart!"
Anyway...back to young Albert. His theory of relativity was next. I set up what I thought was a BIG ENOUGH blackboard near the edge of the cliff. Before anyone one could blink...Albert picked up a chunk of chalk and started to write all these hyro gyro monolithic sums on the board...off on to the grass, right over the edge, and down the first three feet of the cliff face! Luckily Lucy Wart had taken off her sticky rollers, had the presence of mind over patter to grab young Albert by his long curly hairs...damn painful. To sum up...everybody gave Lucy Wart the clap and demanded she come again to the fore. Loosely, this is what Lucy's lucid comments were."It wasn't the Wright Brothers who flew first...it was Mary Poppins...the pills were ALIVE! no rudder...no wings...just this strange white angel dust falling out of a bog-standard pratt and wiggly parasol and a bit of upthrust from her hi-lift down- shrouded skirt i think the down helped?" Everyone cheered. She was on a roll...Lucy that is.She continued to fly."Definition of a medieval 'slanging match' between two jealous pole-sparring women on hoarse back. "Many a shrew word is spoken in joust.Down shrew the ages!" Thunderous applause,horn blowing. The allegic Lucy sneezed. Applause and cheering. Lucy let out a big titter and let go Albert's strawlike hair, she giggled."For me, hayfever is the FIRST STRAW!"
Thunderous applause, ribald laughter...Lucy downed a sip of proffered mull and continued. "My lean head friends. A hemp basket-weaver turned hemp smoker told Judge Judy last week that "either way...at the end of the day he'll still be weaving round in CIRCLES."Lucy started on health politics...she was so sick in her style. "Look at the bloody hospital situation. A yeti friend of mine came down off a mountain suffering from a massive heart attack...and YETI couldn't get a damn bed! She had them eating out of the plum of her hand (mull plum in bottom of flagon) "There are a number of senses...sight,hearing,touch,taste...and the irritating non sense emanating from ME! Bit of history to finish off my friends, JOAN took up an arc- welding course...burnt herself. The King presented the singed Joan with a certificate,it read..."It is decreed hearafter that ye shall carry the title "The JOAN OF ARC welding!" I interrupted.,,LOOK! young Albert's back on board the blackboard and he's chalking up with vigor...ALLBBERT!! come here...grab a pencil and write on the back of Mrs Wart's A4 poem...it's all relative even though your not related! You just can't write at RANDOM Al...do it at Y'art class! You can bombard us with your intellect and rapid fire at Will...and NED! Cheers..................................