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Monday, December 18, 2017

Look For The Why

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“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” Albert Einstein
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Understanding why something has happened in the past is the key to avoiding it in the future.

I want to offer you something to think about today. On the surface it is a very simple idea. In many ways the simplicity is why I feel it works so well. If something is too complicated when it comes to human behavior, most of the time I do not put too much stock in it. Narrow it down and get to the core and there is a better chance it will be helpful to you.

Let me paint a scenario for you to think about. I offer you this as it is something most of us deal with on a regular basis. Especially when our children are small.

I offer you Johnny who is 6 and Billy who is 8. They are driving Mom insane with their constant fighting and bickering. It starts the minute their feet touch the floor in the morning and continues non-stop throughout the day. As a professional I know that the fighting is not really the problem, it is only a symptom of whatever else is going on there . Obviously I want to help Mom stop the fighting, but if we do not figure out the WHY then they are going to continue to fight.

Understanding why something has happened in the past is the key to avoiding it in the future. That is precisely why we study history – to avoid repeating mistakes that bring about catastrophic results.

The bottom line is this: Whatever the problem may be, you will never solve it if you only address its symptoms. You have to dig deeper and find the reason for the behaviour or it will be repeated . There is always a payoff, and until you can determine that, the solution will be impossible to find.

No matter the problem, one of the first things to ask yourself is WHY? Be prepared to be brutally honest with yourself, if you really want to solve it.

I personally ask a lot of whys...I don't do this because I am being nosey. I do this because I truly do want to understand how you feel and what your reasons are for feeling as you do. Communication seems to be becoming a dying art and this I find very troubling. I wonder how this will impact the lives and relationships of those growing up in this generation.

" Please remember that people are not able to read your mind, and you need to express how you feel in order to be understood."

“Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.”
Dalai Lama XIV



About the Writer

Barbara MacDonald is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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9 comments on Look For The Why

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By HomeRearedChef on December 19, 2012 at 04:13 pm

This post is Brilliant! Brava!! I would not disagree with you here. Communication is indeed dying. People are to quick to jump to conclusions (I am guilty of that) or just walk away and dismiss a problem (I am guilty of that too). But I am learning, Barbara, to stay and talk it out. And when I am too heated to think clearly, I will ask to please be allowed a moment or two to get my emotions together.

Loves this post, Amiga! ~XOXOX

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By Barbara MacDonald on December 19, 2012 at 04:27 pm

Thank you Virginia this is an old blog from when I use to blog on Yahoo 360...I just reworked it a bit...I too am guilty of jumping to conclusions at times, none of us are perfect, but we do learn from our mistakes hopefully...you are so correct when you say it is better to walk away till you calm down and come back with a clearer more focused mind. I had a very dear friend that I knew needed to take a long time to be able to discuss a situation, and I had to learn to respect her right to this and her own "timing" so to speak...if you did approach her before she was ready, the result would not be good...but I learned this over the years and tried to respect this part of who she was.

Thank you for your comment my friend...xoxo

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By HomeRearedChef on December 19, 2012 at 05:36 pm

The pleasure was all mine. I learn something new everyday. And here with, I am learning new things too. :)

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By Uttam Gill on December 19, 2012 at 08:09 pm

Barb, as usual a commendable piece of writing...You are absolutely right that one needs to constantly communicate with oneself and others to set the things right and that's how we create harmonious existence. The coexistence with peace is an essence of life...Barb, you are a pure gem…You hold great wisdom in you and I personally feel so blessed to know you…Keep It Up

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By Barbara MacDonald on December 19, 2012 at 08:24 pm

Uttam, I always look forward to your comment and input on what I write. It has been 9 years now that we have been sharing our thoughts, writings, and friendship...I feel like I know you better than myself at times. Coexistence in peace is important I agree...Thank you for your kind compliments and comment , I too know I am blessed to have you in my life , and I pray God keeps you safe and blessed.

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By HomeRearedChef on December 20, 2012 at 12:27 pm

By the way, Barbara, I love the song in the video you shared with us. Beautiful!

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By Barbara MacDonald on December 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Annie Lennox , is she not amazing? Thanks my friend...:-)

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By melanie jean juneau on December 20, 2012 at 09:43 pm

we are all made of the same stuff- it is amazing that when we really listen to an antagonist, we simply discover another human struggling with the same things that we are

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By Barbara MacDonald on December 20, 2012 at 10:04 pm

That to me is the beauty of life...both the diversity and commonality of our human existence...Thank you Melanie for your wise thoughts...:-)

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