I have been reflecting lately on many of the beautiful survivors I have known and worked with over the years. When you travel deeply into another's soul, they become a part of one's own heart. This journey is an opening to understanding and love. In the process you both benefit, grow and are transformed.
This time of year is difficult for many people. The holidays are "supposed to" represent family, love, and joy. Having worked the crisis lines, I know all too well, that this is the busiest time of year. This year I again am volunteering on the crisis lines. They are swamped. This is my Xmas gift to myself.
Before every meeting, of my group Survivors Of Life, I quiet myself and meditate on my own humanity. I open my heart to listen with acceptance and compassion to whatever will be talked about in our group. There can be no barriers if the women are going to feel free and accepted so that they express whatever emotions or experiences they have lived through.
No matter what they have experienced it's vital for them not fear and know that they will listened to, and have their feelings acknowledged. There is nothing they can say that I will not listen to with love and empathy. No matter how deep the pain and wounds, there is no need to feel ashamed, as my own vulnerable human heart is given to them.
Remembering is usually done in a progressive fashion. First the less traumatic memories surface. It's almost as if they are testing ground to know if more is shown that they will still be safe and not be judged. As the degree of acceptance grows one becomes more secure in getting to the core of our pain.
Finding the core is a journey that many have never gone through. The core can be blocked for years from our memories. The human spirit has an amazing ability to protect us. The spirit will very often mask the core and only allow it to come to the light when we are ready.
I have had women in their 70's call me at times telling me they are just now remembering some of their abuse. There are many reasons this happens. A common trigger for them finally remembering is that the recent death of their abuser.
Whatever your story, the important thing to know is that no one need to carry it alone. There is healing waiting for you that you canembrace and give to yourself. This is a hard subject to discuss and many will not want to read about this. Facing what has happened seems far worse than escaping our "perfect little" worlds.
The reality is that many are touched by different forms of abuse and need understanding and acceptance. It is in secrets that abuse grows and thrives. My hope is that you will let me in my own small way perhaps shine a light into your life.