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Definitions

by gt281 (writer), State of Denial, December 05, 2012

Brief statements of what a word or expression means...

Procras’ta’dig’itation: waiting for things to magically happen.

Sit on it: a term use by old men at strip clubs asking for a lap dance, (among other things, this page is rated PG so I can’t go into further detail).

Su’icide bom’ber: a person eating a can of beans in a mobile home.

Mo’bile home: misnomer; it’s not mobile and it’s not a home.

French intell’igence: no such thing.

Sounds the same to me: slang term meaning; “get the he** out of here I don’t care.”

Fib’roid: a lying robot.

Grub’stake: a small piece of wood pounded into the ground with an attached string and a worm attached to the string.

Hair’br’eadth: this is what you get when you find the cook’s hair in your spaghetti.

Hail’stone: holy relic found in Presbyterian churches.

Guess’work: US government budget figures; a drinking mans game at strip joints concerning women’s breast sizes.

Pow’der’puff: what happens when you run over a bunny rabbit with a lawn mower.

Gyp’sum: price of a new car; bill from the repair man at your house.

In’ex’plic’able: a term to define why the guy in the next cubbie even has a job at the place where you work.

Stair’well: misnomer; it is neither a stair nor does it have water in it.

Stag’nant: a bachelor’s party with no strippers.

Stag’ger’ing: a bachelor’s party with strippers.

Star’dom: Britney Spears.

Con’cave: a place where escaped prison inmates hide.

Squirrel bait: Bucky Bieber fan.

Wo’man: person responsible for every evil person on the planet, because only they can give birth; see also money pit.

Man: greatest thing invented, especially if over fifty with grey hair.

Fry’in pan: metal object used by women on this author who have read the definition of woman.

Thor: mainly used by people with a cold; “I have a thor throat.”

Cott’on pick’in: person hired by the elderly to remove fluffy white stuff from aspirin bottles, (not to be confused with nose pickin)

Pan’cake: this is what you become after falling 50 floors onto the concrete sidewalk below.

Phar’ma’cy: what little kids say while going thru Nebraska.

Matter: see “your vote.”

Your vote: it don’t.

Great Caesar’s ghost: what Perry White says when Superman catches him giving Lois Lane a ‘raise’.

Balls of fire: what happens when you mix beer and black beans.

Scar’let fever: what Rhett Butler had in “Gone With the Wind.”

Miss’ion im’poss’ible III: my getting a raise this year; see also

Mission Impossible I, and Mission Impossible II.

Dark side of the moon: a black man’s butt.

Once in a blue moon: how often an employee gets praise from the corner office.

Demon’strate: congress.

De’luge: what Norwegians call a snow sled.

De’mote: what people from Jursey say when looking for the TV control; “where’s demote.”



About the Writer

gt281 is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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3 comments on Definitions

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By melanie jean juneau on December 05, 2012 at 02:07 pm

ha- some defintions are just out right hilarious, others brillant, a few make me smile, a couple elude my flabby mum brain.. all in all I love how your brain works.

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Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By gt281 on December 05, 2012 at 06:14 pm

Motherofnine9: my shrink also likes how my brain works; it keeps the cash flowing…

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By melanie jean juneau on December 05, 2012 at 06:17 pm

ha

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