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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Germany finally bans sex with animals

by Ravo (writer), Sandy, Utah, November 30, 2012

Credit: Creative Commons
Sculpture on a Hindu temple of men having sex with a pony

A sordid story as old as Sodom and Gomorrah, you likely will turn to salt if you read this.

I was happy to hear that the German government, which legalized human sex with animals in 1969 has finally come to its senses and banned the act. The BBC on-line news reported on this development this week, and I have it on good report that across the country, there was pandemonium as thousands of swine milled about in their styes, grunting their approval. Apparently the whole sordid business came to a head when a little lamb named ‘Mary’ complained that she was promised a luxury cruise by some evil guy that had soiled her forever. “My fleece is no longer white as snow”, she bleated piteously.

I suspect that this whole business has gained the attention of the mainstream media because of the German guy that was recently caught engaging in heavy petting with a horse. Mucking about like this really excites newspaper people, who will do anything and report anything to sell more newspapers. But, of course, my readers already know this. Now, I have always wondered if Roy Rogers, the singing cowboy’ had a ‘thing’ for his horse, Trigger. I know this is a sensitive subject for many cowboys (I mean, consider their name for themselves!) Cowboys, indeed; I have always wondered what was so thrilling about riding a bull at the rodeo, and now, in light of the ‘Gay Pride’ movement, I’m seeing this in a whole new light.

I’m also reminded of the old cowboy joke:

The cowboy, visiting the sheep ranch of a new neighbor in the county, had closely observed the apparel worn by the Basque herders that tended the flock and finally asked, Why do all of the herders wear Levis that button up in front?

The friend replies, “Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away!”

And then there is the infamous Mexican 'Dog and Pony show'. I tried to imagine this sort of thing as a teenager, in the dark and under the covers, but my mind kept drifting back to Maryann--my heartthrob of the moment, whose knees were permenantly welded together (or so it seemed). Later, as an adult, I learned that this off-Broadway type of production was a regular event in Mexican border towns, and also a very lucrative segment of the porn industry.

On impulse, I checked out what Wikipedia had to say about this sort of behavior, and I was astounded that (a) so many humans both male and female, engage in it, and (b) apparently, a lot of animals are also enthusiastic about it. The Wiki article itself is very extensive; suspiciously so, giving evidence of popular and in my view, extremely sick interest by Wikipedia fans. I was gratified though, that the author(s) of the piece saw fit to include a colorful image from the 15th century of a woman and her dog in Iran ‘doing the dirty’ . It explains a lot to me why Iranian Mullahs act so crazy about women’s lib, and other Western ‘perversions’.



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6 comments on Germany finally bans sex with animals

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By riginal on November 30, 2012 at 07:20 pm

bloody funny Ravo.

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By Angie Alaniz on December 01, 2012 at 03:16 pm

bloody disgusting!

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By Ravo on December 01, 2012 at 07:14 pm

Thank you both for your comments. Nothing is more gratifying to a writer than to make someone laugh and someone else steamed up over the same article!

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By riginal on December 09, 2012 at 08:40 pm

Angie just flipped past your comment. Didn't mean to sound flippant and you're 100% correct. Disgusting. What i was alluding to was the comments from Ravo in the way he presented it with his tongue-in-cheek style. Hope i haven't opened up another can of worms. Past civilizations ripping hearts out digusts me too.

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By Ely North on December 12, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Note to self: cancel trip to Germany. Mexico instead?

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By Ravo on June 20, 2014 at 09:23 pm

I'm back after a long punishment in a darkened cell, attended to by Lesbians in men's bodies. This has straightened me out, and I promise to be a good boy, if not a good writer.....

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