The song "The Rose" has always been a favorite of mine and I can not hear this without thinking of a very special lady that I worked with years ago. I had run a support group for women who had been sexually abused. She was a walking testament to the beauty of survival and strength. A red-headed fierce woman, who now was married and the mother of a spirited boy of five.
Many of her struggles involved the fact that her Mother was so attached to this grandchild , giving him so much love and attention. Although the rational part of her appreciated this and wanted this for her son, the raw human reaction was "why did she never protect and care for ME as a child." For two years I worked with her trying to help her on this journey.
I had told her that her child would be her own salvation in many ways. Although the emotions and feelings motherhood were bringing to her were intense, she would have to finally address her own issues. From the love she had for her child would come the motivation to heal herself... in doing this she would be free from her own pain.
This is the poem I had given her at one point. This became a mantra for her in some ways and I know at times it was the thing that kept her "sane."
I do believe that we have just the children we are supposed to, they come to teach us what we need to learn.
Hope you enjoy this poem as much as I have over the years.
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself, especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it transcends time and space.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful. Take care.
Strive to be happy.
This song for you my friend.....Thinking of You dear lady.
The Rose.... Bette Midler