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Sunday, October 22, 2017

Is Marriage an Obsolete Concept?

Women are born free,but still their freedom is shackled under the guise of marriage.Educated women in the world are realizing importance of freedom to them instead of marriage.

Quite a good majority of urban educated women says marriage is a a hinderance to their freedom and progression. Women are born free, but still their freedom is shackled under the guise of marriage, through out their life. Eventhough the shackles of marriage were broken by the hard-core feminists long ago, it is only today majority women around the world are realizing the importance of physical freedom to them unrestrained by the institution of marriage. Today they either prefers to be single or to have only live in relationships with a view not to loose their natural freedom. Increasing education and good employment opportunities are infusing confidence among the educated women that they are no more dependents on men. They firmly believe that marriage thoroughly hinders their physical movements and restricts their freedom of thought and do not want to mortguage their unrestrained freedom of movements for the institution of marriage.

Even in traditional societies like India, now a days educated young women prefer dating, live in relations, or temporary physical relations for amusement, instead of being capitive in life long marriage. This is apparent if you see the ‘dating’ and ‘singles’ portals, where millions of employed urban educated women seeking relationships with men for temporary economic support or physical satisfaction. Dating and friendship are preferred over marriage, by majority such young employed women as traditional domination of men in the guise of husbands, over the women, is no more tolerated issue now a days.. The matrimonial, dating, friendship sites in India show the number of Divorcees or separated or 35+ unmarried women keeping their profiles, but they remain unmarried even after they crossed 40+ years, because, their preferences, tastes are not liked by majority men as still 90% of Indian men seek that their life-partner must be like a traditional obeying wife to the husband, inspite of her good education and employment.

Indeed, candidly speaking women lose their freedom as many husbands often looks their wives with suspicion, if they freely talks or interacts with any other man, in his presence or in his absence. This ‘suspicion’ is the very fundamental issue where women think that they lost their freedom with the marriage and being trampled by husbands. Her mind gets grilled between respecting the traditional role as a typical wife and her values, and accepting modern thinking based on equal rights, freedom of thought and movements unrestrained by any force. In this chaos, majority educated women preferring the ‘freedom’ over the ‘marriage’.

But still the hypocratic human socities are imposing the system of marriage on the women of which women are unable to come out legitimately. Any physical relationship if women established with a man, beyond marital purview, is being considered by human society and law, as illigitamate relation and on par with prostitution. This is the greatest obstacle that is forcing the women into the institution of marriage. If chance gets several married men often enter into physical contacts with other women out of lust or for physical amusement. But, if a married women enters into physical contact with another man, she will be called as ‘characterless’ and a ‘debachee’ and she will be given up by the husband. That hypocratic and discriminatory image what the modern women want to avoid by avoiding the very marriage itself. Without entering into the matrimonial relationship, if a woman does have any number of secret contacts she can not be questioned in general by anyone, and her freedom of life remains intact. That freedom, infact women wanted even after the marriage, but the society is not accepting this and calling it as illegitimate. So, even today the women’s struggle for absolute freedom is going on.

Her mind and movements are being controlled in the guise of institution of marriage for which the ‘husband’ is the Ruler and wife is ruled. Now the rebellion is “why should we be ruled by the husbands”? “If we enter into the marriage we will be ruled, if we do not enter into the marriage we can not be ruled by men and our freedom remains untouched” this is the changed trend in women attitude, which is not digestible to men. Even if laws relating to equal rights, freedom etc., are enacted for physical control of the bodies, human mind and thoughts can not be controlled by the law and legal bodies. That freedom unrestrained by law or other humanly controls are being desired by the women. Therefore for majority sections of educated women institution of marriage has become outdated. They need something new institution.

Will Plato’s communism of wives works out for modern women? Surveys and debates have to be conducted by bigwigs on this topic, to minimize the psychological sufferings of women and to increase their freedom. By dchaitanya



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dchaitanya is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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11 comments on Is Marriage an Obsolete Concept?

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By Randy Mitchell on July 16, 2012 at 04:58 pm

Interesting article. Yes, the roles of marriage are changing and many are deciding to remain single for personal, and emotional freedom. However, some of the best marriages I've seen are with those who are both self-secured, independent, strong, and want to be married rather than need to be married. Marriage should never be about control over one or the other.

As societies change through time, marriage may become less and less popular.

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By dchaitanya on July 16, 2012 at 10:21 pm

I absolutely agree with you Randy. As the society and social values are always dynamic, the institution of marrige has undergone drastic changes for past several years, and it is the educated and employed women who are considering it as less significant rather than men. If employment is provided 50-50 for every 100 men and women, then marriages becomes '0' in many countries in the days to come.

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By Inmyredhead on July 17, 2012 at 12:42 am

Hummm... I don't know. Something about this bothers me. But I'm going to chalk it up to a difference of culture. The only 'guise' that is involved in a marriage would be an intentional misrepresentation of one's beliefs and expectations. Either innocently unexplored by the overly eager to be married or blatant deception. Each scenario can usually be avoided by taking ones time and trusting ones instinct. But otherwise a woman enters a marriage by choice (here in the USA anyways) and can also make the choice to leave the marriage. Don't forget, she often gets something out of it too. In certain cultures a family will marry their women to as rich a man as possible and they all reap the rewards. Including the wife of a rich husband. There are trade offs for greed I suppose. As it becomes more acceptable for women to work in more areas of the work force they don't need to accept those terms or take the trade offs, and yes marriage to controlling men becomes completely unnecessary if they have the gumption to go out and enter that work force. Far as here in the US, I don't go for the victim status of women being 'shackled' by marriage. But again, in your culture I'm sure things are very different.

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By dchaitanya on July 17, 2012 at 01:21 am

Inmyreadhead, you have correctly distinguished to some extent how the cultural variations influencing the system of marriage in different systems. But for instance in U.S or in some other western countries the family and matrimonial systems are very clear, women enter the marriage by choice and leaves it by choice, there women, I hope if I'm correct, select a man if she likes uninfluenced by other factors. But in (hypcratic) societies like India for women in choosing her partner several factors dominate, especially money or a high-earning job or properties besides family influences. Even after the marriage the women are influenced by her parents, to live or not to live with the husband. This trend has because the heavy protective discrimination offered by the Indian constitution for women.

Vexed with this kind of situations, now the women in dilemmatic societies like India or elsewhere in Asian continent inviting or embracing the western or American tendencies and want to be more independent instead of being capitive in matrimonial system. This is because the freedom which the women are expecting is available in the matrionial system here or elsewhere with similar cultures. This kind of tendencies are very rapidly spreading and educated and employed women are no more trusting the traditional "marriage" systems.

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By Angie Alaniz on July 17, 2012 at 03:12 am

The cultures are very different and I for one am pleased to see that the women of your culture are becoming less afraid to speak up and do what might be best for them.

I can't imagine any woman wanting to enter into a marriage where traditionally its acceptable for the man to think and say "I am Tarzan you are slave".

No offence dchaitanya. Great article!

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By dchaitanya on July 17, 2012 at 05:16 am

Angie, when you said NO OFFENCE it is really good appreciation and I thank for that. Quite a good majority of educated and employed women here, no more willing to tolerate the Tarzan attitude of men. But yet they are undergoing a lot of psychological turmoil in their war against the traditional marriage system/life and in their fight for both physical and psychological emancipation. What is being projected to outside world over the culture/traditions here are quite different from that are being practiced here. A war is going on between both.

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By Angie Alaniz on July 17, 2012 at 07:48 pm

I can imagine its very hard for them to stand firm on their new beliefs of change. I applaud each and every effort they make.

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By dchaitanya on July 18, 2012 at 12:30 am

No need to doubt their ability Angie, they are making every effort to put their new beliefs in practice. Thank u for sharing your views.

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By meaganspaddle on April 08, 2013 at 02:46 am

Yes, the trained has been changing day by day, but still somewhere it is vital part of everyone's life. It is tradition, it is an delicate part of life which everyone love to have and enjoy.The pleasure which you get in marriage is awesome, top of the world, it wont to compare with other things.

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By meaganspaddle on April 08, 2013 at 02:46 am

Yes, the trained has been changing day by day, but still somewhere it is vital part of everyone's life. It is tradition, it is an delicate part of life which everyone love to have and enjoy.The pleasure which you get in marriage is awesome, top of the world, it wont to compare with other things.

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By meaganspaddle on April 08, 2013 at 02:46 am

Yes, the trained has been changing day by day, but still somewhere it is vital part of everyone's life. It is tradition, it is an delicate part of life which everyone love to have and enjoy.The pleasure which you get in marriage is awesome, top of the world, it wont to compare with other things.

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 Report abuse



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