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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Jurassic Poke

by Anastasia (writer), London, July 12, 2012

Credit: LtShears
How on earth?

How did dinosaurs do it? Seemingly their Kama Sutra offered only one position – doggie style.

I have sex on the mind. Indeed I do, extinct sex to be exact. How did dinosaurs do it, I want to know, particularly the real biggies like the brontosaur and the tyrannosaur? The answer, according to several palaeontologists, is that they did it doggie.

A surprising amount of thought has been given to a subject that previously had never crossed my mind. A lot of thought was given by the late Dr Beverly Halstead, an English expert on dino sex. “All dinosaurs used the same basic position to mate”, he once wrote, “Mounting from the rear, he put his forelimbs on her shoulders, lifting one hind limb across her back and twisting his tail under hers.” My, my, it sounds complicated.

Mr T-Rex, it seems, was particularly well-endowed, having a penis estimated to be some twelve feet long, a joy, I feel sure, for Mrs T-Rex. So given this, along with the weight and dimensions of the beasts, doggie it had to be.

Kristi Rogers, Assistant Professor of Biology and Geology at Macalester College in Minnesota, speaking on the Discovery Channel said “'The most likely position to have intercourse is for the male behind the female, and on top of her, and from behind, any other position is unfathomable.”

Interviewed by the Huffington Post, Dr Gregory Erickson, an evolutionary biologist at Florida State University, concurred, adding that it “Must have been a hell of a thing to see.” I'm sure it was. Best not to get too close, though.

Doggie, yes, but some believe it had to be wet doggie. There are palaeontologists who think that that the dino romps had to be in water because they would just fall over on land. Water, you see, added that little bit of extra support, along with a post-coital float.

A problem comes to mind. I can see that doggie is the obvious position. The idea of dino missionary is just too, too outrageous. But what about all those with armoured protection. How did poor old stegosaurus go about it, what with all those plates and spikes down the back? It must have been quite a thing for Mr Stego to find a way round those obstacles to passion. I suppose love found a way, either that or there is another explanation for extinction.



About the Writer

Anastasia is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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6 comments on Jurassic Poke

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By Uttam Gill on July 12, 2012 at 09:20 pm

How they did it…certainly wildest of the wildest imagination can make any one wonder...Stretching imagination beyond our dimensions of understanding would make us explore beyond and more…

What ever it is...they did it successfully...And I am just wondering while imagining about Mr and Mrs Tyrannosaur’s post coital posture…Surely Mrs Tyrannosaur winks and raise her tail inviting again Mr Tyrannosaur by saying “shall we do it again”…Let us see surely in their kam sutra they must have few more positions…hahahahahahahahahahaha.

Anastasia keep this sense humor alive…you made me laugh

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By Angie Alaniz on July 13, 2012 at 12:21 am

hahahhaha Talk about a visual. Imagine the rug burns on that baby.

You also made me laugh.

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By Anastasia on July 15, 2012 at 05:26 pm

I can just see them, Utttam, he to her -"But did the earth move for thee?" :-))

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By Anastasia on July 15, 2012 at 05:28 pm

Angie, yes, I know! I really wanted to put this under the science heading but there is no slot for biology or nature. I did consider 'energy' for a moment or two. :-))

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By riginal on November 20, 2012 at 11:54 pm

A friend of mine, Roger, has an enormous willy. He rogers his wife Diana frequently. I was a bit tipsy at their pre-xmas do. Diana was going round displaying her new born titties barely contained by her multi-colored pink low-cut dress. As usual i put my mouth in it. You see they were both banging on about your article and the size of Roger's and how often he rutted in 'her fifty shades of pink'. In the bath, in the sink, on the ceiling...I couldn't help but interrupt the boasting. Maybe i was jealous. I put my arm around Diana and whispered in her ear..." yeah- but is Diana sore?" Great article, keep it up i wish i could! riginal .

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By Anastasia on November 22, 2012 at 05:31 pm

Yes, Riginal. Thanks for sharing. :-))

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