The question above is one we’ve all asked ourselves while making that occasional, sizzling eye contact. And it’s also the oldest both men and women have contemplated every time their heart skips that irreversible beat. God made us equipped to love another, to share that certain bond we feel with no one else. But is it love we have while stroking the others hand, or simply an infatuation, a physical response that goes no further than living in the moment when it happens?
Let’s start with some definitions:
Love is a strong feeling for another which lasts through time, and never stops even after death. To love someone means you respect, admire, support, and care for them deeply. You put their desires, needs, and wants ahead of your own, and they do the same for you, unselfishly, and without any thought of payback. You don’t play games, or let others stand in the way of spending time with the one who makes you happy. You make time for them, because that’s the single most important thing in your life. Most of all, love is unconditional, has no limits, and never dies. It’s what gives your life meaning and hope; it’s what motivates you to become a better person. It’s also the single best way of making you whole. Yes, it’s physical, but delves into much deeper feelings that stand the test of time. Love is something you know when you experience it, because nothing else feels the same. When you love someone, they’re the first and last person you think about everyday. When someone loves you, their every word, gesture, or physical movement has deep meaning because you’re living on the same page. Love also brings out the best in you because you want to be your best, always. Love pulls emotions to the surface you never knew you had. Love is tender, patient, kind, and never harms. Love is pure happiness when you find it. Love is always mutual between the two involved, or it isn’t love at all. When one loves and the other doesn’t, it’s always best to open your heart and eyes to another; because love, inevitably, always finds a way.
Infatuation isn’t love; it’s more chemical than emotional because in common reality, infatuation is extravagant or foolish love. An infatuated person, quite commonly, is someone who in over-valuing the beloved has mistaken beliefs concerning her or him. Some consider that perhaps infatuation can only be distinguished from romantic love; others suggest that infatuation may be the first step towards love, can grow into a more mature love, and marks the first stage of a relationship before a bumpy, but nonetheless inevitable transition from romantic infatuation to mature intimacy. In such a view, lovers begin as prolifically inventive, producing enthralling illusions about each other only to be disappointed as the relationship ends. Infatuation can begin and end quickly, and is quite commonly strictly physical in nature. The chemistry is bold and sultry at first, but disappears as new interests arrive. Simply put, infatuation never lasts unlike real love. And it’s a great test we give ourselves every time it occurs.
Every person throughout life will experience love and infatuation, its part of God’s plan for us all. But, to experience both allows us to learn their differences, to discover the red flags of what’s happening when they come; to accept or reject the moments, to move past or steam straight ahead onto that sandy beach or sunset atop country fields while holding each others hands.
Love and infatuation have many things in common. Both will pull your hair out, make you shout into the mirror, raise your blood pressure, gain or lose weight, race through many intersections without stopping, keep you from sleep, wake you among a cold sweat, leave you standing in the rain, and cause you to cry and laugh like a child. Either can age, or keep you youthful. But, both can give you a life worth living.
I write about love and infatuation in my book (s), because nothing draws more attention or emotions out of readers than these powerful feelings. It’s also helped me to discover more about what I love, and who. And being able to discriminate between the two has saved me from wasting time with some who aren’t healthy relationships.
Infatuation, at first, is good. It stirs up your libido and releases energy needed for a relationship to grow. But, love is much more. It’s a wake-up call to see what’s important; a way of planting down roots for a lifetime of growth.
Wishing you all love at its best.
Thanks for listening…