Love the Man, NOT HIS POTENTIAL
Don’t think girls you can actually change a man without a lot of hard work from yourself.
Good Evening, my name is Jennifer Stone Author of the TAKe CoNTRoL series of books.
I am here to spend some time about Men and the potential us girls see, if you are in a all female or all male relationship you may see this within your own relationship it is just not a hetro thing.
Have you ever gone out with a guy and thought wow……………………………………
I am sure many of you will have had that happen to you over time.
Have you thought, when I was young he may be a good catch when he moved out from Mummy’s house or his mates just rev him up by himself he may be the different guy I wanted.
Well my relationship, I didn’t really look at the situation I looked at the guy, today I have two partners one here……one there…………. Some of you maybe in the same situation.
As I have grown older I have noticed my girlfriends that marriages ended or relationships broken up that they actually thought the man or partner would change to their perspection of what a person ACTS like.
My girlfriends who have divorced……………………..most have just a few are still together…….have actually broken up with one fellow to go out with the same looking guy……
It is not the appearance of the person we were unhappy with, it is the dream we had for our relationship did not marry up in reality.
Have you ever thought wow, that guy is great with the sports car…….or maybe a life of luxury is what you deserve. In fact many of my friends will think I did exactly that. I have a man with a great heart, has had and still has great cars, boats and property thou I really fell for the guy not what he could bring to the table of the relationship.
Men don’t change, when they are a dag, they will return to being a dag…….I mean someone who is careless with their appearance at home. Have you been the girl that just looked at the wallet, his job, the ability to live life like on television?
Be honest, the divorce rate would not be so high if we remembered why we fell in love in the first place. Some of you at sexpo will be in love, you will be living life to the fullest going out, having a wow of a time. When the fun of going out becomes a relationship of living together it is that dag, that I brought home that I am married too. Yes you cant change a Man.
Thou those Men or partners think they can change ME.
So if you see a guy, your relationship is growing and you have thought he just needs a better job…YOU WILL BE THINKING THAT ALL YOUR LIFE.
If you think you can change a person, don’t think you will as they always revert back to away unless you can show them that way, or reason is not a good idea for them.
It is very common the habit of falling in love with a mans potential rather than the man himself. We all honestly think we have fallen in love with the real man in those early days of heady steamy lovemaking, Oh I can remember, to be here today Yes Sex is so good, however it is really impossible to fall in love with a man without seeing a small sign above his head that says “Renovator’s Dream”.
Have you found the partner that you crave for night and day that ticks all your boxes as a Perfect Partner that you did not think of one thing you would change about your partner. Yes we all change habits in our partners that we love, the habit of smoking, of going out with the mates without you. I have been lucky, to live my married life with a guy that actually enjoys being at home, going out, and living in the fast lane.
We have just had all the kids, well young adults live out of home, we have found us by ourselves again. We have seen our children going out with partners some come and go and others have stayed.
You must all look at yourself, it is not the person you will be able to change, yes in the beginning you will have found the well mannered man or partner however the original behaviour is just around the corner.
So if you found your partner and think, I am really happy how they are now just like the moments or weeks of first dating, and they have not put this pretend barrier up or screen as most men don’t know US girls can show through this.
The point is not only are none of us perfect, however that its unfair to try to mould someone into a shape that suits you. They have already spent years spreading out into their unique shape so they wont change Just as you wouldn’t.
Have you thought about if your mid man renovation is to change your partner then your partner has the right to tell you just stop spending so much time hanging out gossiping, or don’t wear those shoes I hate them…..Mine were lost just one, heartbroken I was and still 30 years on as vivid as yesterday the feeling.
If we see ourselves as the PERFECT Partner we will all have issues if we look in the mirror, if you look for peace, love and happiness you will have to find the real person, the real partner that you can not change.
Life and relationships flow beautifully if we all can remember the reason why we fell in love with this person, 5 years, 7 years, 15 years…oh god the wrinkles, grey hair, glasses……..After all think of the energy we will be saving by not Trying to make him Ideal in your own eyes.
Remember there is no such thing a PERFECT PARTNER.