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Monday, October 23, 2017

A day in the life of a new yorker

by Bedoykhek (writer), New York, April 25, 2007

The radio alarm goes of, the message is clear "Alternate side regulations are in affect" Holy shit, OK. ill take a shower after the vehicle is moved, mad enough at my self for getting up later then I should have,what sense is there in beating yourself incessantly.I hurry out of the house while fastening my buckle,and lo and behold the car is not even on the wrong side,that really sucks,OK,get undressed into the shower and to work.speaking of the car where is the dam thing ? I don't see it on the right side either ? the next logical train of thought would be that it was towed for being on the wrong side one time to many,or getting coffee at the curb hoping against all odds that a traffic Police would not show up.OK.The next logical action would be to call 311,they are really helpful,WWW.whatever yep it was indeed towed ! OK the Marshall's office would be the next step,$269.00 worth of coffee and snooze button,$386.82 towing plus service charge.The marshals office is a dingy filth place the door buzzer has the sound of a fire truck only the reception area is the size of a bathroom without a shower.at the filthy Plexiglas's window a Young uncouth individual shouts curt unintelligible arcane requirement that would be uncompromisingly necessary,for instance exact change means 655.82 we don't give change.how about 656 keep the change nope,go to the deli on the corner and get change,alright,I trudge over to the deli,whats going on no more Wrigley's ? yeah the marshals office has been very busy, OK.do you Cary Tums ?back to the sheriffs office by now four new disgruntled citizens solemnly listen the steps that will be necessary to again ride their beloved.having produced all documents birth certificate passport drivers licence original insurance card registration proof of residence photo id proof of actual existence, I get a document with the sheriffs seal,ecstatic at having successfully navigated this system,I finally felt ready to learn to fly a single engine piper.as I head out the door with the full expectation of someone pulling up with my long lost vehicle,you're kidding me ? where do I have to go now ? The subway is down the block and then transfer to the B20 bus and then ..I would have looked it up on map quest,these bastards.after an hour or so I reached the out skirts of the city I never expected to be walking on this godforsaken soil,another Plexiglas's window and another stupid bitch.Why don't you have the impound lot in Niagara falls ?


About the Writer

Bedoykhek is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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1 comments on A day in the life of a new yorker

Log In To Vote   Score: -3
By Bedoykhek on April 25, 2007 at 11:43 pm
I do not tolerate decent !
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