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Friday, December 15, 2017

Roots and Wings

Credit: DebTim
Wings are the thing of beauty for on them they will return to us

The most important thing we can give our children are their roots to ground them and their wings to soar on their own!

The two most important things we as parents give our children are roots and wings. Producing healthy roots comes first. It's essential that we establish a solid foundation for our children to grow in, learn in, develop in and even discover who they are. Not only do we provide our children's physical needs but their emotional needs as well.

All of these things - clothing, food, love, understanding, respect and security, will ready them for their wings. As in a plant, a solid root system provides two functions. The roots enable the plant to receive the nutrients it needs to grow and it is also the support that the plant will need as it develops. Without a good root system beneath, it will not be able to stand on it's own. The entire process of being a parent is to ready our children for the day they spread their wings and fly.

It's our responsibility as care-givers and parents to instill in them life skills, such as good decision-making, self-confidence, taking responsibility for their own actions and even dealing with consequences. Once we have done all we can in preparing them for the outside world then it's time to let them fly.

In giving our children their wings we are actually giving them their freedom to soar. For many of us it's a very difficult time. Letting go, or cutting the apron strings, takes courage and strength, but most of all trust. We cannot constantly offer suggestions and advice as we have to step back and allow them to make decisions on their own. It's time for them to put into practice all the lessons we have taught them; becoming strong and independent of us. Keep in mind that our children will always be our children, just as we will always be their parents. That fact will never change however, the dynamics of our relationship will change.

We are now seeing our children as a whole new identity completely separate from us in that they have become their own person, with thoughts, decisions and even goals that we may not agree with. Letting go doesn't mean our children won't need us anymore. In fact most adult children still crave their parent's attention and approval. The goal is to learn to love their differences and to see your adult child as a whole person.

All the years parenting our children have come to this point. Now that they have spread their wings and left the nest, making life choices and being independent we need to accept that our work is fisnished. Hold on to the knowledge that even though they are flying on their own now, their roots will always bring them home for a good dose of love... and maybe a meal or two!



About the Writer

DebTim is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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5 comments on Roots and Wings

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By Uttam Gill on May 15, 2012 at 11:59 am

Absolute flawless words from a home maker..."give our children are their roots to ground them and their wings to soar on their own!"...Your words build... creates hope...In your simplicity …I see you as the best…HATS OFF TO YOU…YOU ARE A HOME MAKER...keep it up

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By Barbara MacDonald on May 15, 2012 at 01:12 pm

Somehow while reading this I was recalling the words written in The Prophet on Children...."You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth." Kahlil Gibran....

As a Mother myself I feel the most important part of life is what we teach our children and the example we provide them in how to "walk" in this world. Well done Deb, I enjoyed reading this.

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By DebTim on May 15, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Uttam I thank you for your kindness. My greatest roll on this planet is being a mother to 4 sons. How richly they have blessed my life can not be put into words. If my only success in life is to ensure they have a great future, soar on their own and still come home to the nest seeking love and comfort then I am well pleased. I am far from the best but I have good stock to work with!

Barbara I know that saying well. The truth behind the words are awesome. Thank you so much for your kind words. From one mother to another.. may we always provide what our children need as we help to prepare them for their flight!

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By Credo on May 16, 2012 at 09:27 am

This is a very special and olympic presentation; The art of parenthood is an ideology that should be further aroused in our children through education so that when they become parents themselves the greater social good can be realized. Extraordinarily societies either crumbles to declination or elevates to prosperity due to the adept or awful parenting skills of children. Your article speaks volumes to this end as it demonstrates to the world that we still have great mothers among us who lifts their children and society in the process. We are all the better for your dedication to your children, and I must commend you for such serene dedications, indeed you are the wings beneath society as well.

Thank you for the privilege of viewing and evaluating this most significant article.

Credo

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By DebTim on May 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

Thank you Credo for your inspiring comments. Being a parent is a priveldge - something we often forget. To be given such a gift in raising and nuturing our children for the future good of our society/world can only be of benefit to all.

I'm honored in by your evaluation and thank you for understanding the import we need to place on this gift we have been entrusted with.

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