Tuesday, July 17, 2018

The Chase is On - The 1% Never Gives Up!

Too big to succeed is perhaps the phrase we are looking for here...

So, JP Morgan Chase just blew $2B - that's bazillion to you 99%'rs - because they were trying to "hedge their risk" but, well, our bad! Hey, hey, hey, it's not like we're any different than Fat Albert, right? Now, to be fair, JPMC was not in on the first round of TARP, so maybe this is just late-to-the-party and such, but I really can't wait to hear the spin on this from the Repubs. They cannot legitimately blame The Black Guy in the White House, but you just know they're gonna give it their best shot!

Let's see if we can't help them get this party started!

So, JPMC lost all that money becaue of the class war that Obama started! Ooh, I like that one! Pushes most of the Wrong Wing button,s might take all the talking points off that gay-bashing kerfufle, and it's all about the down economy - think of all those high-end traders getting pushed out of the top floor windows! Sweet!!!!!

Or, how's this - JPMC was forced to take those risks because of all the bad mortgages they got stuck with after they took over some failed bank's troubled portfolio, and The Pres decided they were on their own. The Prez will rescue the Unions, but leave us poor bankers swinging in the breeze!

Well, however it get's spun, you know who will be doing the spinning, and why. But just as in the tale of Rumplestiltskin, all you have to do to break the horrible smell, er, spell is to say three times quickly, Obama, Obama, Obama!

Or maybe it was Bain, Bain, Bain.

I mean, weren't they all just as thick as theives?

Oh, well, it's not like it was really their money to begin with, right?

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Notumbus Bumbus is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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