Friday, October 19, 2018

Gay, Straight - Worry About Crooked!

Beware the usual distractions, America! Marriage isn't the issue, ya dig?

Well, here we are, and much earlier in the election season than one usually expects it. I am talking about the pointless distractions, of course. Everyone is getting their pantaloons in a snit over whether The Prez does or does not back gay marriage (and all this time, I'd been going on the assumption marriage was supposed to be a gay affair for all concerned. My bad!) But whether one believes that marriage is a right or a mere tradition is really of little concern. Whether we keep adding new jobs? Big concern. Whether we manage to get through the next year without new hostilities breaking out between, oh, Israel and Iran/China and the Phillipines/China and Japan/Syria and, uh, Syrian people, etc., big concern. Whether fracking is going to produce a whopper new earthquake somewhere in Pennsylvania, big concern. Whether we are even going to have anything resembling real healthcare/immigration/etc., reform in our lifetimes? Big concerns. Whether you will ever again be able to go through airport security with at least your underwear still attached to your body? HUGE concern right now. So, Jerry and Jeff want to get hitched? Puh-leeze! Get a life, people!

While all this froo-fraw about gay marriage distracts everyone from the real issues, the Euro-zone is melting faster than the Polar icecaps, and creates a very real danger for our very slowly recovering economy. The Retreads believe they can fix everything by just making sure their wealthy donors are made wealthier on the backs of the poor, because of course, the poor are miserly donors, fer sure. But the reality is, if those greedy little monkeys would spend the money they are pouring into the Super PACS to just launch more jobs, they would get the election on that basis alone. Who wouldn't vote for anyone backed by the Koch Brothers if the Koch brothers announced 100,000 new jobs? I mean, BINGO, baby, right?

But instead, they and their little monkey friends are spending gazillions to con you and yours into being afraid - very afraid - that the boys next door will have a wedding party. And shucks, but it looks like you won't get invited. So, this will teach those nasty boys - don't invite us, will you?

Ya know? It's really no wonder the rest of the world has pretty much given up on wanting to emulate us anymore. We've turned into all the things we used to say were so bad about the Soviet Union, but with all the really crappy stuff about capitalism floating around the outer edges like the Tidy Bowl man was on extended leave.

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Notumbus Bumbus is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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