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by SavageLettuce (writer), April 20, 2007

Internet porn took a new turn when a friend of mine clued me into the latest in sex toys. This time, the dogs have their day.

Yes, friends, there is now a sexual aid for the randy canine. It’s called the Hotdoll and is intended to help a pooch get it’s rocks off somewhere other than your leg. Shaped like a dog, it is made of durable rubber (dishwasher safe?) and designed for easy mounting with skid-proof paws that provide ample stability. Sadly, since there is evidently more of a focus on male sexuality of all species, the Hotdoll is made strong enough for a man-dog. Most disturbing of all is the little hole at the back which essentially makes the doll little more than a depository for your dog’s DNA. It makes me more than a little nervous that someone will be giving it a test-run before turning it over to their furry friend.

Considering we have seemingly exhausted all possible focus on human pleasures, this seems like the natural progression. I say, have at it. My mini-dachshund will be disappointed that there isn’t a model for the bitches (females like to do the humpty dance, too) but perhaps I can get it for her anyway and let her experiment with her orientation. The item got me thinking about what a vast market there is yet to be tapped into in the realm of doggie sexuality. I can just see a specialty shop opening up in the Village for all those hot dogs, selling items such as:

*Dogagra: For when Cujo has lost his mojo.
*Test-Tickles: Prosthetic doggie testicles for the neutered dog, to put the “swing” back in his step.
*Canine Condoms: Safe sex for all species! Also available in flavors such as peanut butter, liver or chicken.
*Hung Hound: Natural male enhancement for dogs plagued with a tiny willy.
*Fido Dildos: Females get in on the action with models called “The Lipstick”, “Red Rocket” and “The Bone”.
*Butch Bitch: Tiny leather outfits for the hard-core hound.
*Mutt Muzzles: Taking canine aggression to a whole other level, this muzzle comes equipped with a tiny tennis ball-gag.
*Bowwow Brazilians: Why should your neighbor’s bushes be the only ones a dog focuses on? All dogs love manicured landscaping!
*The Doggy-Paddle: S&M for strays.
*Kibble Clamps: Specially designed to fit all eight nipples.
*Flea Bags: For when your female has that “not-so-fresh” feeling. Available in vinegar and toilet-water formula.

Cheers to canine carnal pleasures! Now...Who’s your doggy????

For more information and photos on Hotdog, visit http://www.feeladdicted.com/

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SavageLettuce is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the author's website.