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Tuesday, October 24, 2017

A Strong Mother and Son

by Barbara MacDonald (writer), CANADA , April 04, 2012

Credit: unknown
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
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“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love.”

Do you believe like me that every person comes into your life for a reason? I can't begin to tell you how very blessed I feel to be able to do the work I do. There are times that can be very challenging and very frustrating, then there are those times where you just know you are the person that will be able to reach their pain, there is something in you that will touch their soul and being, and you will both be transformed. Somehow in the wisdom of this world, you were placed on the path you needed to be on. I was reminded of this recently and this is exactly why I keep doing what I do.

I was out shopping at Walmart and I ran into a former client of mine. This is a woman from at least fifteen years ago. My memories of her and her son forever etched in my heart. A lady who was a single parent of a ten-year old boy. I remember when I first met her how it was difficult for her to even look at me when she talked. The pain she was carrying was literally wearing her down to the point of not even being able to be verbal. I have seen this before, but it never gets any easier to see. A place so raw, afflictive, atrocious... in seeing this it also touches something in me, that will make me reach as deep into myself as possible to find the piece of myself that I can use to help her. I really do believe that is why a client-counselor relationship will work. I know people say you need to be objective, and I am this as well, but there is another element when you are dealing with this kind of profound pain. There is a need to connect on a concentrated level to earn the trust needed to have someone share and allow you to touch their pain. If you are not open to this, most likely you will not be of much help, in my humble opinion.

Slowly we started knowing each other. It took at least a couple of months for her to finally be able to start to let go of some of her pain. Normally I will see a client once a week, but I had requested more time with her so that we could move forward a little quicker. Overtime she started telling me all the guilt she was feeling for not being able to protect her son. Her son had been sexually abused by an older man in their neighborhood. As a Mother, she was feeling it was all her fault....Why hadn't she seen what was happening? How could she of been so stupid? Why had she allowed this man into their lives? All these ways to blame herself. We spent a lot of time talking about this and finally arriving at a place where she was letting go of some of the guilt. I knew this had to be the first step for them both to begin to heal. I also worked one on one with her son and was able to get him to finally talk about what had happened and his feelings on this. A lot of his worry was for his Mom, who he saw suffering and he was blaming himself .... I was able to set them both up with some long-term therapy, a child specialist. I worked for around a year and a half with them and in time we became very close. When it was time for me to close, it was very difficult for them I knew. I had assured them that they could always call me if they ever needed me and I would stay in touch. We did stay in touch a lot at first, but with time as they were getting stronger they became less dependent.

Now years later I run into her....and I give her my email as she would like to send me a picture of her son. She tells me he still thinks of me and she is sure he would like to write me an e-mail. I received a few from her, also this one from her son.....


Hey Barb. It's (name). Just Wanted To Say Hello :) Hope Everything Is Well With You! Mom Was Telling Me That She Ran Into You. Kinda Glad She Did! I Just Want To Say Thanks From The Bottom Of My Heart For Changing Our World.. At The Time I Wasn't Old Enough To Understand. So Thanks For Making Our Life So much Better. You Are Our Angel. I Hope We Can Talk Soon :) And I Hope All Is Well With You.

Laterdays,
(name)

A couple of weeks later I had the privilege to celebrate her son's 25th birthday with them...Did my heart good to see what an amazing young man he had grown into...
This is why I keep doing what I do, even when at times I grow weary. To make a difference in some small way in the lives of some amazing people, humbles me...brings purpose to my soul...



About the Writer

Barbara MacDonald is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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7 comments on A Strong Mother and Son

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By Betty B. on April 05, 2012 at 05:12 am

wow wonderful

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By Barbara MacDonald on April 06, 2012 at 10:55 am

Thank you Betty.

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By Uttam Gill on April 06, 2012 at 09:19 pm

Barb, as I know, you have been always very instrumental in helping the people in many ways...It is because of amazing qualities you have in you...The way you have dealt with mother and son is certainly speaks very high about your profession acumen…You are a noble soul…An outstanding post…Keep it up

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By Uttam Gill on April 07, 2012 at 09:46 am

Barb, as I know, you have been always very instrumental in helping the people in many ways...It is because of amazing qualities you have in you...The way you have dealt with mother and son certainly speaks very high about your professional acumen…You are a noble soul…An outstanding post…Keep it up

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By Barbara MacDonald on April 07, 2012 at 04:31 pm

Thank you so much for your kindness Uttam...yes we have known each other many years and talked on many of these situations. You have always supported me with your encouragement and blessings...:-)

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By Patricia Adams on April 10, 2012 at 12:51 am

Barbara, what a difference you are making in people's lives, with both your work and your writing. You are an inspiration!

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By Barbara MacDonald on April 10, 2012 at 01:51 pm

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit and comment...very much appreciated. You humble me...I actually receive so much more then I give doing the work I do...Writing is something that keeps me grounded and is helpful in reflecting on life...I also so enjoyed reading your posts...Thank for the add, I look forward to reading much more from you Patrica.

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