Sunday, October 21, 2018

Miss Bliss Would be so Proud!

by C. Reagan (writer), WEST HOLLYWOOD, September 30, 2006


It started out as a normal "Hump Day". I went to work. I turned on KISS FM (LA's hottest hit music!) and listened to Ryan Seacrest as I brewed coffee and read some mind-numbing articles about Skid Row. Then, the nightmare began. It came gently at first, in the form of a teaser by Seacrest himself around 9:45 am. By 10:00, the world as we knew it changed....for the worse.

3 Words will sum up this fateful day: Screech. Sex. & Tape. The NY Daily News reported today that a 40-minute "sex-tape" will star Dustin Diamond, AKA Screech Powers and 2 un-named females. The trio are said to engage in a "Dirty Sanchez" scene that will be sure to make waves with The Christian Coalition. David Hans Schmidt who is apparenlty well versed in the world of celebrity "skin tapes" confirmed that he will be handling the mass distribution of the video. Scre...Er..Dustin is trying to distance himself from his "Saved by the Bell" character with this new endeavor and hopes to be able to pay his cell phone bill with the expected dozens of dollars in royalties.

Here's Wikipedia's definition of what a "Dirty Sanchez" exactly is...

"Dirty Sanchez is a noun phrase describing the result of one partner having a "moustache" made primarily of fecal matter, applied by the finger or penis of the other sexual partner.
It is performed by sticking one's finger (or other object) in one partner's rectum and then swiping a line of feces under the nose, making a "moustache." While there is nothing inherently latin or Hispanic about the gesture or resulting moustache, it carries the name of "Sanchez," which is likely the result of the following take on its origin.
Named after a web comics fictional character of the early 90's called 'The Dirty Sanchez Adventures', the story of a Mexican superhero in Texas, who is also an illegal immigrant. In the comic the main character, Dirty Sanchez, seduces white married women in order to have anal intercourse with them and sometimes with their husbands. His personal signature being the "moustache" he leaves on the faces of his sexual partners after they perform oral sex on him. The comic website was hosted for a short period of time by Geocities.
The Dirty Sanchez is a popular turn of phrase, appearing in a variety of pop culture references including the name of a bar in the movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. The bar's mascot was an apparently hispanic woman with a moustache. Another popular reference is in The Aristocrats joke. Former Saved by the Bell star Dustin Diamond is rumored to demonstrate a Dirty Sanchez in his sex tape, titled "Saved by the Smell."

I am so impressed that our beloved saturday morning teen starts of the past are still making a name for themselves! Whether it be "Dancing with The Stars", "Showgirls" or even a disgusting attempt at porn., the cast of "Saved by the Bell" has proven they have staying power! Kudos guys!

About the Writer

C. Reagan is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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2 comments on Miss Bliss Would be so Proud!

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By Noa on October 01, 2006 at 12:57 am
Is this for real??? The dirty sanchez thing? is that really in the video??? what the hell! i hope he does lose his house, what an idiot! ugh
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By Ariel on October 01, 2006 at 01:55 am
Lisa Turtle must be very disappointed
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