Though many people have been successful finding their life partner through personal ads or online profiles, this should be just one of many strategies you can employ to find your life partner. Your personal profile can be very useful to connect with people, expand your social network, and to practice your sorting skills.
There are at least two approaches to writing personal profiles: the “Marketing” approach in which you aim for quantity by writing to attract as many responses as possible so you can sort them; and the “Selective” approach where you design your ad to sort for you and get fewer, but hopefully far more qualified responses.
If you are clear about what you want and don’t in a relationship while dating, writing a profile that will attract fewer, but more qualitative responses, is the best approach. Remember, your goal is to attract highly qualified individuals who are in alignment with what you want. If your profile is too vague, too general, or too inclusive, you will have to spend too much time sorting through responses to find those who are closely matched with you.
Guidelines for Writing a Profile
1) Profile Content
When it comes to writing, don’t think about writing an ad. Think about describing yourself to a trusted friend. Think about what sets your apart – your qualities – without concern for how the opposite sex may interpret them. Think about what’s really important to you, whether it’s your values, faith, that you love running marathons, doing volunteer work, or love eating ice cream.
Be honest. Compile a list of about 30-50 items that describe you. Then go back and narrow it down to the top 3 or 4 key items that reflect the essence of who you are. You’ll find that you may be able to combine some items. Don’t write your biography. You want to spark interest and give that special someone a reason to respond.
BE SPECIFIC. Your quirky traits will be the ones that attract the right person. Next, do the same thing with your ideal person in mind. What qualities do you want that person to have?
It’s also important to communicate the type of relationship you’re looking for. Describe the values that you want your relationship to embody. Don’t be afraid to say what you are looking for in a long-term committed relationship, with children – if that is what you want. Or, if you are just interested in dating a number of people, on a non-exclusive basis, say so!
Once you have all this content gathered, the last step is to make it fun to read. How can you edit it to be more clever or playful? How can you showcase your intelligence and wit?
Don’t be afraid to be yourself. You want to attract the person who will appreciate the real you. Most online sites will have a questionnaire that covers your “stats” and preferences so your profile is where your unique qualities will shine through. A good ad is all about making the truth appealing.
Your final draft should describe you (40%); describe the person you want (40%); and the relationship you want (20%).
Don’t forget your headline. This is the attention grabber and you will make your ideal partner take notice of you. For a good starting line, think of the things that make you different, and showcase your special qualities, even quirkiness. The starting line is the one way to capture attention. Go deep. Don’t be afraid to use humor or write something that’s a little playful – as long as it represents YOU.
Remember, when writing your personal profile be honest, be specific, communicate the type of relationship you are looking for, make it fun to read, and last but not least, be yourself. That way you will attract individuals who want what you want in a relationship, and who knows? You may attract the love of your life!