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Monday, October 16, 2017

OH, SO JOLIE

by Louisa (writer), New York City, April 10, 2007

Angelina, Angelina, Angelina. Have you never heard the term “less is more?” Though it is noble you want to help your fellow humans, big and small, being a parent I thought was supposed to be much more about loving in quality rather than in quantity. As such, how in the world are you going to bond with those children when you keep bringing new ones home, like they are pets or something? Money, which you obviously have in large amounts, is surely great for providing material goods for these children, and those, save for your own biological child, would never have lived such a “good” life without you.

However, as role model to the world, which you are due to your own voluntary creation, it seems you might realize that parenting is more than giving designer duds, edgy though they might be, to a tiny and vulnerable being. How can you get to know a child intimately if you don’t even give yourself—and them—a moment together without them having to worry, or even contemplate, that possibly they are dispensable. After all, if you bring one young person home, and then another, and then another, and then who knows how many more, and you’re still calling your biological girl—gorgeous though she may be—“the blob,” then what kind of confidence are you really building for each and every one of them? There may be a reason why one can only give birth no more than one time a year; doesn’t everyone in the family circle need time to honor the value of each and every person as being both individually special, as well as integral to the group?

Sure, you’ve told the world you’ll be a stay-at-home-mom, but honestly, with all those nannies and bodyguards and cooks and whomever else you might employ to help care for your children, you’re hardly the relatable, average stay-at-home-mom. More like a I-can-afford-to-stay-home-with-all-my-helpers-and-fill-up-my-homes-with-multi-diversified-children because, maybe—is it possible?—you’re trying to fill some void in you, that no matter how many children you may adopt, buy, own, or have, will never actually fill that emptiness. In trying to use those children to do that job for you, albeit unconsciously, could you are possibly be putting pressure on them? One parental notion I do know about from my own experience is that it is not the child’s responsibility to make sure the adult is okay and looking good.

I am not anti-adoption, or anti-family, or even anti-celebrity (well, maybe a little, depending…), just a single mother with very little help or financial resources, and frankly, being a one-shot-momma to my ten-year-old daughter is about as much as I can handle (and she is no blob I tell you, never was, never will be, even if I didn’t know who she was at a very young age, she knew, as all kids know, everything, and I pretty much can guarantee that years from now, your biological daughter will not appreciate having been called that). I’m hoping what I can provide for my girl goes way beyond the monetary, material, media-obsessed value system that you may be inadvertently sharing with the world. In fact, one of my biggest hopes for her is that she does not take life and others and the world for granted, and that when/if she has children, biologically or otherwise, she will love them fully, intimately, and honestly. One child at a time.


About the Writer

Louisa is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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