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Saturday, November 18, 2017

Balancing

by LaurenK (writer), Sydney, November 07, 2011

Credit: Winnifredxoxo
Life is all about balance

I wrote this poem to express a personal struggle I've experienced the past couple of years and as a tribute to my motto for the year: It's all about balance

Contemplating

Time saving

While standing on a stick

Clumsily placing

One foot in front of the other

- A delicate trick

Quickly pacing back and forth

In the small space of my flat

Caught on one leg

Trying to keep track

Of one thing

And another


Then Mother,

Father,

Sisters and Brother

Slope in at one side

And I can’t seem to

Carry it without

Hunching

Kind of

Crouching down

With the heal of my foot

Slamming to the ground


Got to get out

Got to stay loose

Round and about

Have some fun

Shouting

For the experience

Just for its sake

A nice piece of cake to share

With those who don’t know me

Or care


Hobbling back to the nice quiet space

But not for long

Doing things I never promised

No longer can the sun

Shine on these shoulders of mine

Bones that are paying the price

For that which I have not done


I dare not make a sound

For the battleground

Is better left uncharted

A territory for the dead of spirit

But the banging on my head

Is getting louder and louder

Bang, clatter, drill

Shatter, Clamor, boil, spill

Stay out, stay out!

Spilled it all

She cries in ears

Tears, fears, worries

The sober voice of self

Is drowning in the memories of someone else

Drowning in pitiful misery

There’s nothing worse than feeling sorry

For someone not seeing the pain they’ve inflicted

On themselves

I just want me get back to me

And she back to she


It’s all or nothing with me

You see

One way or the other

Screwed in reality and fantasy

Between stress and boredom

Hate and love

Dread and excitement

Trying to get back to peace

Please

Let me be not an island

Nor sand in the hand

Of someone who feels they can spread me so thin

There’s nothing left of me to be in


Let me be free

Let me be loved

Let me be between

I want to stand

With my head held high

Between the two sides

Of them and me

The chaos engulfing and exhausting

But the loneliness can only lead to maddening misery

Either way I will disappear

Don’t let me go

Let me stand here

Balancing



About the Writer

LaurenK is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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