Saturday, July 21, 2018

My Future Letter of Retirement

by Miranda (writer), Lakes Area Minnesota, October 27, 2011

One day all my kids will be grown and starting their own life...

To My Amazing Children,

MeMe, Butch, Bruiser & Brody October 1, 2028

First off let me begin by saying Happy 18th birthday Brody. It seems like only yesterday you were struggling to breathe and they were wheeling you off to the NICU while I was still in surgery. I was very worried but we were in an amazing hospital with the best Doctors around. We were in good hands. It was a long 6 days but with my emotional melt down in front of the staff after they told us I was being released and sent home 45 minutes away while you stay in the NICU for an undetermined amount of time. I lost it, I was angry, I was sad, I was scared and I was letting them all know. Tact and composure was out the window. My heart was breaking. Dad and I had already been away from the kids for 5 days and in the morning we were to be released and leave you behind. NO, NO NO. I had such an impact that they decided with my previous experience with your sister MeMe, Daddy and I could handle this and they released us! YAY! Daddy will freely admit that was the one time my public meltdown was not only acceptable but appreciated! That being said Happy Birthday!

I have been your Mother for a long time. I have had long, stressful pregnancies, morning sickness, swollen feet, heart burn like hell, gazillion midnight trips to the bathroom for yet another pee. Four c-sections with recovery that seemed to last forever. When you were born I nursed you, I changed your stinky diapers, I bathed you, I rocked you all night, I sang to you all those silly songs that you loved. I read you stories and taught you to walk. It seemed like a lot to teach you those first couple years before you guys enrolled in school and the majority of your academic education was taught by a new teacher each year.

Over the years I have tried to instill a strong work ethic. I have encouraged you to pursue your dreams and guide you the best I can. I have taught you to do laundry and fold your clothes so it looks like it came off the store shelf each time. I have made you do chores so that cleanliness would carry over into your adult lives and your dorms, apartments or homes would not be a pig pen hit by a tornado. I have tried to teach you about money, credit, budgets and how to shop smart. I have tried to instill community pride and an urge to volunteer for your community, school, family and programs that you feel strongly about. I have tried my best to explain civic duty and how to encourage others to follow the rules. I have done my best to raise you all to be a productive member of today's society. I have laughed with you, cried with you, screamed with and AT you. I hope you feel I have met your parenting needs adequately and better yet I would love to hear that I have exceeded those expectations and I have done better than planned. I love you all so much! With Brody turning 18 he will be graduating in May and starting college in the fall, or maybe he will be working. Regardless you are all adults now. I really do hope I have done a good job!

I am formally turning in my notice of retirement. It will take effect June 1, 2028. I will always be your Mother and I will always be here for you, but I am no longer legally responsible for you or your decisions. You are all adults now and officially responsible for the decisions and mistakes you may make. If you feel there is something I have not taught you or maybe we need a refresher course on something please ask. I will do my best to be sure that you are ready and mature to start your adult life. June 1st I plan to sleep in. When I wake up I plan to join your father for coffee and breakfast at Mainstreet. I plan on having my usual omelet with extra crispy hashbrowns and white toast. After brunch we will stroll the shops downtown and see where the day will take us. I am hoping we will spend most of our mornings this way.

I am thinking of taking up some new hobbies. Maybe I will try baking, or some sort of random craft to fill my day, which used to be consumed by dirty diapers, making meals, cleaning, laundry, scheduling your activities and events. Keeping up with your social life, sports and life. I plan to read a new book each week, or at least every other week. I plan on napping during the afternoon, just because I can. I plan on calling you periodically through the day just to say hi and I miss you, but I hope you are having a great time in what your currently doing! I plan on sending you goodie baskets when you haven't been home in sometime and my loneliness is too much. I will be driving you crazy with my constant pokes and random game invites over Facebook or any other new technology that might come out by this time. That being said, I love you and I am going to miss you each moment you are away from me, but I do Love you!

Thanks for being amazing children and great kids!

Love, Mom!

About the Writer

Miranda is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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1 comments on My Future Letter of Retirement

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By Felicia Stevenson on October 27, 2011 at 02:45 am

This is very cute Miranda! I can certainly commiserate! My retirement date wil be June 14, 2025, but I have a feeling it will never truly be done ;)

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