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Sunday, November 19, 2017

Tiny Terrorist Thwarted by Secret Service

A 14-year-old girl in Sacramento put an anti-Bush message on her myspace.com page. I guess it showed a picture of our president with a dagger stuck in his outstretched hand, with the words, "Kill Bush

A 14-year-old girl in Sacramento put an anti-Bush message on her myspace.com page. I guess it showed a picture of our president with a dagger stuck in his outstretched hand, with the words, "Kill Bush" scrawled beneath it. The girl was pissed off by the war in Iraq. She removed the message from her myspace page as soon as she learned that it's a no-no to post such material, but by then it was apparently too late.

The Secret Service came by the girl's classroom a week later and aggressively questioned her. They must believe that she's a legitimate terrorist threat. Maybe they suspect that she's hoarding bomb-making devices in her hair gel, or possibly plotting against the government during afternoon recess. They painstakingly combed through her pom-poms, her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, her fruit juice boxes and pudding cups, as well as her Little Miss Kitty backpack and Justin cowboy boots. They also made her empty out all her piercings and remove all of her temporary tattoos.

Thank God our government is so on top of stuff like this. Next thing you know, kindergartners will be transporting terrorist correspondence in pop-up picture books and nerf balls. They may even start trying to involve celebrities like Barney and the Cookie Monster in their conspiratorial acts.

Nip this stuff in the bud before these kids learn about things like Freedom of Speech and the Right of Assembly. Hats off to our government for making sure these children grow up to be just as frightened as their parents.

I can see where writing "Kill Bush" might not have been the smartest move on her part, but c'mon people -- doesn't the Secret Service have better things to do than harrass 14-year-old girls? Shouldn't they be out there trying to catch Bin Laden or, at the very least, giving Paris Hilton her third DUI?



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Ed Attanasio is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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