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Saturday, October 21, 2017

iLo on Men: Let Me Make It Easy for You

by iLo Ivy (writer), Citizen of planet Earth, October 04, 2011

Credit: Image via iiNotes
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As an advocate of open communication, I tend to assume that nothing goes down better, in a man's world, than being practical. So, to the point.

I'm not going to pretend that I'm always on your side. Every so often you do get on my nerves, guys. But I must admit, I understand why you say the things you say, and do the things you do (yes, toilet seat included). OK, I'd like to kick off this gig with a little chat about the rather confusing subject of 'being easy' (but not necessarily slutty). Of course, I'm talking about us, ladies. We all know it's perfectly cool for a guy to want to have sex ASAP. It's called 'being charming', right?

Well, lucky you! I praise the outgoing male for being direct, expressing what he wants, "bullsweet" excluded. For those, it's cool if a girl goes 'all the way' on a first date; as a matter of convenience, yes, 'testing the merchandize' and all that life-is-too-short jazz; especially, if you really like the girl (translation: "OMG she's so hot!") It's OK, I get you.

But, guess what? I actually think it's rather charming! I certainly don't see the point in delaying the inevitable, when two adults really like each other. Sleeping with someone, when you want to, doesn't change who you are. When you met him or her, you were already that way; sleeping together isn't going to make you better or worse; provided each satisfies the other one, it would just make you both happier people. And what's wrong with that? My point is, I'm with the guys on this one. If you really want to have sex with someone on a first date, then do it. And I'd even go a step beyond. Invite him, smartly, if you feel like it. Use protection, be yourself and blast one splendid 'session', if that's what you both really want.

Having sex 'too early' or 'when the time is right' doesn't actually determine the success of any relationship. If anything, considering when, or whether, to suppress or unleash your true desires, is the saddest thing I've ever heard. There's a lot of social garbage surrounding the concept of right or wrong, when it comes to creating first impressions. I'm not saying you have to be promiscuous. I'm saying, if he or she fullfils an intellectual connection with you, or there is potential for a relationship (however short or long), what's with the fake protocol? Is it the challenge of the chasing after? Or the ever-so-boring, "I'm a good girl"?

Well let me tell you something, since you care so much about what others think. If you can't keep a meaningful communication, after having had (hopefully) mind-blowing sex with someone, it isn't because you just had sex 'too soon'. When you have commitment issues or insecurities, 'disconnecting' is bound to happen anyways. So finding out that you, either just wanted sex, or you didn't like him or her after all, is much better, when everyone manages to save some valuable time in the process. Besides, holding on to the 'what if' (we would've had sex) feeling isn't really that practical. Yet again, well done for getting on with it, and even for moving on, if that's what needs to happen.

Shy friends, do not worry. I know you'd love to be able to also 'go all the way'. And I'm going to show you a few tricks to overcome the awkwardness of certain moments; ironically, when the time is right; but count on me! And to the, pretentious, judgmental few out there, if you ever find yourself thinking, "She was just too easy", you're being a hypocritical poor representation of the great male. What you might mean is, "Hot, but not girlfriend material." And that's OK, but surely you knew that before you slept with her. So I'd like to think that you actually didn't. And if anyone has anything to say, please speak now or forever hold your... Otherwise, I'll 'see' you soon, on my next piece.



About the Writer

iLo Ivy is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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10 comments on iLo on Men: Let Me Make It Easy for You

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By My Opinion on October 05, 2011 at 08:10 am

Cool article and totally get it. Really enjoyed it. But I don't think giving up the goods on the first date is the best idea. Well, if you are crazily attracted to him and you can tell immediately that it won't be long term, then fine but use protection. The serious types, wait at least until 2nd and 3rd date. You can't make it too damn easy. When a man really likes you, he will wait. Maybe I'm old school but when I like someone, I let it drag a bit and guess what they don't dissappear. I guess if you have good looks, it helps.

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By MrFriend on October 05, 2011 at 10:14 am

Cool article and totally agree with it

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By Kathleen on October 06, 2011 at 12:24 pm

My advice for the girls: Don't give any sex until you are married. Even prostitutes do not give it away. They value themselves enough to at least charge a few hundred. I'll put it simply; would you pull out a $500 bill and hand it to your boyfriend. I believe most of you are saying "No." The same goes for sex from a girl. Why should she give it away? If you do give it to your boyfriend, after he leaves, he will laugh and tell his friends. Then tomorrow like the stray dog in the neighborhood he will come back to get some more. He might even have a friend with him. Anything of high value is not gotten easily. The author, here, is trying to trivialize sexual intercoures as though it were as casual as sharing a bag of popcorn. Always remember,your body is the temple of your soul. It is not a sexual gymnasium for the boys. Also, it is not nice to use people. Men and women do not want to be used for sex but want to be appreciated and loved for themselves. If you enter into a casual sexual affair, eventually, one person will discard the other. The jilted partner will experience the worst feeling in the world, a feeling that could almost kill him or her and it will take a long time to heal. You will not be the same kick up her heels gal that you use to be.

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By Ed Attanasio on October 06, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Valuable advice. For many years, I just gave it away to primarily super models and now I have squat to show for it. :)

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By TonyBerkman on October 06, 2011 at 01:28 pm

Ed I can relate to that. Not sure they were super models in my case though I was left squatting on some sites including broo :-)

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By Angie Alaniz on October 13, 2011 at 03:10 am

I don't think that is good advice but.....I do give this article an A+ for fun & entertaining :D

I do also give Kathleen an A+ for her comment as I did find it just as entertaining. I love this line > "Even prostitutes do not give it away. They value themselves enough to at least charge a few hundred".

**Note to self: Get the cash when it feels good. lol

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By TonyBerkman on October 13, 2011 at 03:20 am

Definitely entertaining and that's why I like BrooWaha.

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By iLo Ivy on October 13, 2011 at 09:16 am

Broo is like an editorial canvas, filled with colorful thoughts from outspoken minds. (Yes! ii© that;)

'Right or wrong', 'good or bad' are very relative concepts, and everyone is a different universe, in spite of society always trying to impose a way, by which 'should' or 'should not' live.

But this is what is all about :) Variety, differences, and ultimately, acceptance and enjoyment! People will always do, what resonates with them - regardless of whether it's "good" or "bad", in the eyes of mortals or God. That's humanity.

Thank you all for the, great, thought-provoking comments :)

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By Niick on October 13, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Ed, I feel your pain. You sound like a broken man... How is your self esteem? Pretty battered, I suspect?

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By Angie Alaniz on October 13, 2011 at 11:34 pm

@Ilo Ivy - You have said it wonderfully and wisely and without thought-provoking comments, now where would we be anyway? :)

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