Monday, January 21, 2019

A Life of Pain?

Credit: (c) Jason Davis
Sunshine, smiles and love!

A reader is devastated over the loss of his "love".

Dear Shari...

I met an amazing person about 5 years ago. I cannot believe how lucky that I have been, but since last November we fell in love with each other. Since then we have had a truly wonderful time, I have never known such a person as her, she is sooo different from anyone that I have ever known and I am sure that I will never meet another person like her, nor do I want to.

The issue: she is married.

I can see why she was subconsciously looking for a new love, as he isn't a good person for her. I can also see how much she has changed in the past 9 months, she is much stronger and she has seen what having a true love is like.

However, he has recently found out that she is in love with me (he read her text to me) and, being the honest person that she is, has told him that she is not in love with him. Nevertheless, she has agreed to give him another chance (and it IS 'another') and she has also promised him that she will not contact me during this chance and she has asked me to not to contact her. Out of Love and respect for her I will follow her wishes.

It has been 4 weeks now and I have kept my promise not to contact her, which has been so hard. I have no idea how things are going for her. It worries me because he has been physically abusive to her in the past, but I know he will be trying his hardest to keep her.

I now live in a world of limbo, with so many questions and no way to get any answers.

Is my punishment to live the rest of my life with this pain?

--Etienne "The Man of my Dreams" (what she calls me)

Dear Etienne,

I am not one to try to inflict pain on another, however, this is very simple. She chose him. At the end of the day, no matter what she has told you, she chose him. It's time to move on. Limbo will only last as long as you choose to hold on. It's time to take your lessons learned and let it go. I know I'm making it sound easier said then done, but sometimes, it is. Sometimes things are clear as day and we choose to make them more difficult. She made the choice for you both of you and now you need to release her and the idea of your future together. She was a supporting player in the movie of your life and nowit's time to go meet your leading lady!

Word of advice, in the future, save your heart for someone who is emotionally and physically available.

Best of luck,


*For daily inspiration and to find out more about me, please feel free to check out my website . You can also follow me around the streets of Los Angeles as I ramble on about philosophy, spirituality or anything for that matter on my webseries, "Dashboard Confessions" at On Wednesdays, you can find my inspirational column right here under “Dear Shari.”

About the Writer

Shari G is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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