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Thursday, June 22, 2017

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EXT. THE PEARLY GATES, HEAVEN - DAY There are a group Catholic priests milling about in front of a pair of very large pearly colored gates. One priest is talking into an intercom attached to the gates. PRIEST #1 "Hello, GOD are you there?" POV OF PRIEST#1 FACE Priest #1 looks to the rest of the group. PRIEST #1 (CONT'D) (uneasy) "There's no answer." WIDE SHOT OF GROUP OF PRIESTS The group looks around, up and down, for a sign of GOD. One priest responds: Priest #2 "For Christ's sake, he's gotta be here, this is Heaven, try it again." Before Priest #1 can try again, there is a booming,... Read More

Last week a report on the "likelihood" that humans are to blame for global warming was released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). In their report it was found that humans are "likely" and "very likelyt" to be responsible for the Earth's increasingly warm temperatures. The authors defined the word "likely" as between 66 percent to 90 percent probable and the words "very likely" as 90 to 99 percent probable. Now after reading about all this verbal nitpicking, I was somehow reminded of the not too distant past when President Clinton was grilled on whether he had sexual... Read More

It is easier to contrive a situation than to engage in an honest dialog about it. Many of us teachers believe that learning comes only from "real world" hands on experience.

We discount academic learning because it's boring. Of course my 'œreal world' is distinctly different from the real world that rational people experience. Let me give you an example: I teach mathematics to seventh and eight graders. Everything is computerized these days. We give each student a virtual store credit and a shopping list. We send the students out to the store to acquire the goods on their list.... Read More

Ok, so I lied. I don't go to museums. But the point of the matter is that watching television is a completely different experience then it was as recently as five years ago. Whether it's upgrading to HD channels or recording your favorite shows automatically, the latest and greatest in television setups have reshaped our viewing experience. For those of you just stepping into the ambient light (probably emanating off the latest Panasonic Plasma HD), I've decided to share some of the nuances and perks that come from the world of DVRs, TiVos and other cool acronyms. Here are the top five things... Read More

We have all been there. It's a Saturday night and its 2 am your blind drunk and for some reason a burger from that van over there seems like a good idea! "Great" you exclaim, "I'll have a cheese burger please" and you watch on in amusement as the (I use the term loosely) "Chef" places a pre-cooked burger back on the griddle and heats it to that lukewarm stage that only burger vans have the ability to do.

The Stale Bun is opened, ketchup and Mayonnaise is lashed on, onions are thrown in and always that disgusting slimy gherkin that no-one likes is added that always causes me to question,... Read More

I’d like to take a few moments here to speak to just the guys out there. To talk to them about an idea they have, about doing something extra special for their ‘honeybunny’, while she’s away at her mothers for the week. Your thinking of remodeling that porta-pottie bathroom of yours while she’s away, aren’t you? Thinking of surprising her with a bran spanking gleaming new bathroom aren’t you? Afterall she’s been nagging you for two years to do it, hasn’t she? And now while she’s away you think it would be a great idea to do it. Whoooaaa, hold on there ‘Norm’…before you start, lets examine some... Read More

Hey according to NPR news, Sunday, July 1st is Canada Day, isn’t that great? I think they call it Canada Day because they want everyone who lives up there to know what country they live in. Maybe the citizens get confused by all the nice weather and think they live in Aruba or something. Which is hard for me to fathom, because even I know that Aruba doesn’t get snow or have icebergs floating down Main Street. I guess up north in the land of the frozen tundra, it’s something to celebrate, of course as an American I’ve never heard of it. So I decided to look it up on Wikipedia, after all learning... Read More

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